What are your rituals? Do you have key practices that help you stay grounded when challenges surface? Do you have a rip cord you can pull and out pops the parachute to stop the plummet and turn it into a pleasant ride? This is important…and it is never to late to have a happy landing.
When you take leaps- either out of a plane or one of faith…you are more likely to survive the experience if you have thought ahead.
Deciding before the breakdown will stop you making critical life decisions from a place of weakness/ in a moment of pressure or fear. Lets not look back at past mistakes, instead lets look forward to how you will handle the future bends in the road…because you can be sure they will come.
1) Connect to something bigger than the situation you are in.
Nothing powerful comes from reactionary thinking. Find a way to connect to stillness whenever you can. I went for an incredible walk with my retriever across a stunning, snow covered golf course this morning- it was inspiring. So, I felt fantastic when I received a call regarding what could have been “disappointing news”. In fact- I haven’t even thought about the call until now because I am still wrapped in peace.
When you stay connected through nature, music, meditation, dance, art …you can respond and heal more effectively to change because you are not afraid of it. You are in peace, connected to your source and protected in that place from crippling fear- based thinking.
2) Gratitude is the best defence against poverty of the mind.
If you truly know you are blessed (and you are) then you can not dwell in poverty. You know you don’t live there, “this is not my life” -you will say. “I am rich, healthy, happy, capable loved and loving… I am and have always been enough.” When you know this on a deeper level, you will be able to float not flop under pressure. You will be propped up by your truth: Life is infinitely creative and abundant and I am blessed.
3) Intention and attention are where your real power resides.
Decide your intention for your day ahead and choose a mantra that you will recite through out and especially when life throws you off. ” I trust in Life” is a good one or even ” I have all I need to handle this beautifully”. The next time you are facing something that upsets you: be aware of your body’s response and your internal dialogue and begin to breathe slowly and deeply. Then input your Intended mantra and recite it until you feel it. Next: put your attention on how you will handle this beautifully and make all your action steps from this place of power rather than panic.
4) Prepare and release.
Once you have set your attention to your new plan of action be prepared for whatever results may come your way and release all attachment to the outcome. Really- let it go. This is one of the hardest things to do because we are habitually wishing things different and often obsess about when the delivery will come. To be blunt: it doesn’t work that way and the “why” is a long-form answer too big to take on today. For now understand that surrender is a form of trust in life and it’s infinite mysterious ways. Get used to it and get over it and you will get better at living well.
This is life… ever-changing, surprising and wonderfully synchronistic life-now just go with it.
Ever find yourself in a situation you can’t get out of fast enough? I was recently in a meeting that lasted four hours with a person teeming with hatred and an unyielding tone of condescension. He arrived late, pressured everyone to hurry through the process and made it clear to all present he felt we were incompetent imbiciles. This is not the first time I have met with this individual, in fact I can be quite certain he walks about much of his life this way. I can imagine with each exchange he is totally unaware of the wake of toxic shock he leaves behind him. He likely does not even care…
I caught myself feeling stressed by the rude way he spoke to me and his constant complaining. I managed to change my internal reaction to him through being aware of his energy and deciding not to absorb it. As a silent observer to the meeting- I could not address his behaviour directly. It was a challenge, especially when he began to attack people around me. It was then I could feel a tightening in my chest …and there it stayed for an hour after the meeting ended.
This is one of the most difficult predicaments…when to stand up to energy bullies and how to do it effectively. I find humour is a great healer after the fact…maybe you might lean towards hitting a pillow…but for the sanity of your cels get it out! It is toxic and dis-ease evoking. You need to flush that junk out immediately. As I write this I still feel a little layer of dust settling but I will meditate and bless the unhappy bugger tonight…you know I better bless his wife too- poor woman. I hope something wonderful happens in his life tomorrow- something joyous…more importantly I hope he knows it and is changed by it.
It is sometimes hard to recognize when you have slipped from helpful friend to indulgent enabler. The reason it is so hard is that often the recipients do need your support … just not too much of it. I love to encourage others, listen to their needs and share wisdom where I can…I would even say it is one of my greatest joys. The tricky part comes when you notice a friendship has become markedly one-sided and that your support is now a crutch. My father after experiencing some challenges with his balance, recently refused to use a cane. He explained he did not want his mind to become accustomed to it- to dependant on it. Sometimes in our desire to aid others, we become a tool that creates an even greater weakness.
So how do we do it? How do we offer healthy help? In the right measure.
Learn to be a rock not a landslide. It is human nature to lean on others when we need bolstering, you need to make sure you have personal boundaries that are clear. Set a limit to your attention and time on the subject or help. When I coach others I always remind them: deep down you already know this and you already have the tools to overcome it. I never want to be anyones guru…just an arrow pointing home.
When you offer kindness to another never do it to the point where you feel depleted or drained. Remember to be fully present and then let go of your attachment to how they use your advice. It is not about being right it is about being present and giving an open heart to some one in need.
Be well and blessings to you in this New Year.